Day 1 - Character Study + SelfStudy

“Who are you?” “What is your brand?” “What box can we put you in?” “Do you have something to offer?” “Are you worth my time?” As artists and human beings we are constantly attacked with these questions, literally or energetically. For a long time I didn’t know the answers. I would choose to tailor fit my response to whomever was asking. Trying to answer correctly for whatever they were looking for, depending on the project or situation. Trying to read their mind. News flash: that doesn’t get you places. What does is OWNING yourself. We must start to dig deep to figure out what makes us tick. What makes us happy, sad, angry, passionate, resilient? What makes us who we are? We realize in asking those questions regularly of ourselves that we’re always in the question. Living with he(art) is living in the experience of self-discovery. 

A character study is an exercise for actors and involves finding out everything you can about a character; what makes someone THEM. Why do they do the things they do? Why do they walk like that, talk like that, react like that? A character study helps you find out what has happened to your character in the past so you can play them honestly and understand them in the present. 

For example, 

When I played Emma in The Prom, a lot of my character study was research based. Who had this happened to before? How did they respond? WHERE did it happen? What queer representation was out there already and how could I add to it? Then I went deeper into what she would feel. How SHE would react. Some questions I asked were: What led her to coming out? Why did she need to? How would she have kept going in her life if she didn’t? How would it have changed her life if her coming out went well? Then things like, how does she continue to show up and stand up in a world that doesn’t want her? What drives her to take the high road? Why does her voice need to be heard? All these things added up to make her the amazing young woman she is.

Today we’re going to apply that same curiosity and exploration to ourselves through a SelfStudy. This exercise will help us figure out what makes us US and why. It will help us figure out our true goals in life and why we want them. It helps us begin to understand why we want to be the people we want to be and how to share that with the world.

Because vulnerability mirrors vulnerability, I’ll share my SelfStudy too…

  • Why am I here in this physical space? I’m here in this space because I’ve worked hard to follow my dreams. I’ve put my work before others (friends, family, relationships) so I can make my dreams become reality. All that work led me to be here in NYC. It led me to stay here and continue to pursue things here. I, at this moment in time, cannot do my work anywhere else. 

  • What led me to be where I am today mentally? My mental state changes constantly. There is always an underlying positive flow that drives me to keep going, but it's hard. I fight every day with remaining positive and not letting myself get swept up into anxieties. What led me there is all of the sacrifices I’ve made to be here. Moving across the country to pursue broadway at 16, leaving my sister and dad in WA. Showing up in a world of auditions that constantly tell me I'm not good enough. Being put under pressure to always be “on”. Every little energy affects the way I show up mentally. 

  • How do I want to change myself for the better? I want to be better about sharing the love I have. I want to work on entering spaces with sunshine radiating from within. 

  • Why does my voice need to be heard? It needs to be heard because I know every individual voice matters. Each story helps others. Somewhere out there my experience will help someone else going through the same thing. So I have to speak out. 

  • What makes me feel like my best self? Being surrounded by nature and sunlight. It brings out such a positive feeling of deep love in me. I want to be able to show up with that anywhere. 

  • What makes me feel like my worst self? Being around others who’s opinion affects me negatively. My soul gets sucked away and I have a hard time coming back to ME. 

  • Where do I want to end up? I want to end up in an environment where I know I matter. Where I am respected and am listened to. 

  • In shows, scenes, and songs, we need a beginning, a middle, and end. What are mine? My beginning was hard. Things were thrown my way that I wasn’t ready for. My middle has been me working through life and finding my path. Letting myself speak up and out and finding confidence. My end will be owning that confidence and NEVER apologizing. 

I am Caitlin Kinnunen. A 28 year old woman, actress, and activist, trying my best to be a better person everyday. I struggle with mental health and being confident in myself but I work my butt off to not let that stop me from following my heart and sharing my truth. 

Now it’s your turn.

Listen

Exercises & Journal Prompts

SelfStudy

There is no right or wrong way to SelfStudy. It’s all about taking little steps and finding what feels right for you. Grab your journal and allow the questions below to guide you as a starting point. You can always add more to your SelfStudy based on some of what we discussed above.

  • Why am I here in this physical space? 

  • What led me to be where I am today mentally? 

  • How do I want to change myself for the better? 

  • Why does my voice need to be heard? 

  • What makes me feel like my best self? 

  • What makes me feel like my worst self? 

  • Where do I want to end up? 

  • In shows, scenes, and songs, we need a beginning, a middle, and end. What are yours?

Continuation // 

For every day of the he(art) workshop journey, add to your SelfStudy. Let it be an ongoing practice. The same way we discover newness in characters we play or observe, the same is true for ourselves… we must constantly rediscover our own character.

 

At Fit for Broadway, we create safe spaces online and in real life to learn and grow together. Fit for Broadway Online Workshops are meant to encourage connection within our community. Feel free to join our Facebook Group to share and connect with other participants. It is a great space to talk about your experience, connect with new friends, or ask questions inside the community space.

If you have technical questions, concerns, or feedback about this FFB Workshop, please contact:  jane@fitforbroadway.com

Caitlin does not directly receive questions through the FFB Online Workshop portal so please direct all Workshop related questions or concerns to  jane@fitforbroadway.com  Please refrain from sending Caitlin questions about FFB Workshop technical support on social media or within other interactions. FFB is here to support you!

 By creating an online account with Fit for Broadway, you have declared that you will not share this information or content in any form, online or otherwise. Sharing content will be traced and we monitor IP addresses to ensure online workshops are not being accessed on numerous devices. Not complying with this will result in legal action or deactivation of your account. Thank you for your integrity. 

Non-professional disclaimer: Instructor is not a licensed health professional. Any advice given is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for advice from your physician. 

Content Warning: This workshop content (video, written, audio) discusses sensitive subjects about self-care and strong emotions. If you need help at any time, please call 1-(800) 931-2237 for the National Eating Disorders Hotline or 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.